you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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