I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
