So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have fence marks all over my body
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
