**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
