someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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