Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
my liver is dry heaving
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
