I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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