margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
