I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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