Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
do nipples grow back?
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