I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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