nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize