winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
