I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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