Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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