Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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