This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
3pm strippers are depressing
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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