we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
