It's like God shit irony all over that family
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
