what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize