Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
