If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
