Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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