Its about making memories worth repressing
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
