Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
