Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
we made out on top of his cat.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
