I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
