Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish I could punch you in the face.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
