i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize