This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
