white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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