I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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