Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
