this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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