And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
