I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
