dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
