What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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