Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
