is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
