I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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