I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
At least make sure they are 18
Why
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
