I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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