Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Randomize
