yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
