she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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