Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I could fuck to npr.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
