i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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