is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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