My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
