First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
