I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
