the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
