I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
