What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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