Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
