so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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