Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
